Monday, October 1, 2012

The September Project 2012

Sept. 1

My therapist asked me where I see myself in five years,
then the next week shortened that to one thing over the next six months,
and asked me to think three different times between sessions about what that one thing could be,
and i thought of how to answer this,
how you can't lie in therapy or you shouldn't be in therapy,
how i don't want to give an realistic goal,
or one i'm afraid to meet,
(though maybe i should give an afraid to meet goal)
so i settled on sleep,
unsure what that means,
and in our next session she told me
that for the next week,
i should write down
when i wake up each day
and when i go to sleep each day.
this morning, 10:30 a.m.,
which, unless i had a reason to get up,
the diabetes doctors,
which i didn't,
it's saturday,
would mean i went to bed at a very late hour,
like an in the morning hour,
sometime between four and nine in the morning hour,
and, if i wanted to get enough sleep,
would make sure my house phone was forwarded to my cell phone,
the house phone unplugged,
the cell phone shut off,
set my alarm for about nine hours later,
the snooze for 28 minutes,
so i'd end up getting two rem cycles of sleep,
eight hours or so sleep,
drinking 1.5 liters of some diet soda
or iced water
while i sports radio 66 wfan snooze,
wake up three or four hours later to pee,
see it's 10:30 a.m.,
an hour by which most non-graveyard shift people are up,
so decide to suck it up,
begin my day,
and nap later.

Sept. 2

i'm dvr'ing mets games
even though they long ago were eliminated from postseason comtention,
enjoying players trying to right their seasons,
watching rookie pitchers first times on the mound,
listening to Gary, Keith, and Ron
(Cohen, Hernandez, and Darling)
watching my favorite team
because soon enough I won't be able to

Sept. 3


you know I care
I really do
But I’m too lazy
To go and see you

Unless I have
Another reason
To be in your hood

But if I didn’t love you
Even with my near you appointments
I wouldn’t see you
Make up some excuse

So I get points right
You know I care right
I’ll see you soon right
Right by my next appointment

Sept. 4


Here’s my proposal,
i hope you’ll accept
I’ve taken my time
To make it just so

I think that we can
Work together
I hope they’ll say that we can
Work together.

Tell me when
You know the answer
Thank you for
The opportunity.

Sept. 5

If you don’t fan out the cheese
It’ll be a giant cheese stack,
Won’t be much when I, you know, go to unstuck it,
So please fan out the cheese
Land o’lakes yellow americaan,
Oh, wait, I’m broke,
Give me whatever’s cheapest,
And stick some cellophane sheets in every so often.

Sept. 6

i'm still watching mtv's video music awards
31 years after calling all my friends in the neighborhood
"check it out, there's a channel with just musicians singing on it,"
a few months after,
with each parents' permission,
going over to these same friends' houses with a screwdriver,
and rejigging their cable boxes
so they'd get the playboy channel.

Sept. 7


we once were friends
and now we’re not
only reach out
so many times

gimme three friends
solid and true
than two dozen
who go out and fuck you

Sept. 8
7:19 in the morning,
it just started four minutes ago,
and i'm on to my third viewing of the movie prom.

Sept. 9


i did something nice
didn't want anything in return
but would an email kill you
or maybe a fern

Sept. 10


if i send you
a little email
something i think
that you'll enjoy

go hit reply,
say just one word
it’s so easy peasy
say thanks, just thanks, ok thanks.

Sept. 11

if come september 11
i've forgotten your birthday
i will remember it
because the towers are down again

Sept. 12

"hey, how's your day goin'?"
kid in my elevator
he was like that kid 
andy milonakis 
who made the internet videos and jimmy kimmel discovered him
except this was a real kid
not some i have a disorder kid,
it was so sincere,
his "hey, how's your day goin'?"
my looking at the elevator numbers change face
turned toward him
sincere as could be,
“I’m doing alright, I’m doing alright, thanks.”

Sept. 13

i like printers
dealing with printers
sending files to printers
picking up papers from printers
10 years ago i filmed the first issue of boog city,
red-colored covers, whirring by on the printing press
and then watched it again in the viewfinder,
as a few feet away they continued on by.

Sept. 14

so i crashed out early for me, 
like 12-1 or so, 
but woke up at 330, 
started watching tv and working on boog stuff, 
made dip and broke out chips and pretzels and diet soda, pop, 
and have been up ever since 
watching tv and booging. 
i'll sleep when i die, 
or in the loony bin 
when my lack of sleep turns me manic 
and gets me committed. 
one or the other.

Sept. 15

they pick me up
my folks from the railroad
mom says,
one stop
and then how about nathan’s for dinner?
She says that,
But she means the Arthur treacher’s inside of the nathan’s
They have separate fryers for the fish and the chips
So I can eat the both
And get free refills on the drinks
(I sneak me a big tall hi-c fruit punch.)

Sept. 16

hey tina,

i just happened on this on Yo La Tengo's twitter page, 
and wanted to let you know i couldn't picture three better follows than this:

Followed by Corin Tucker Band, New York Mets, Tina Harris.


Sept. 17


don’t fight in front of me
if you don’t want my opinion
’cause that’s what you’ll get.

Don’t scream at me
And I won’t scream at you
You know that we have met.

Sept. 18


be sure to
ask the obvious
even if they're booked beyond

they might just
up and surprise you
there's a chance they won't say no

Sept. 19

checked my bank balance today
and it wasn't where it should be
i'd stopped always ordering in months ago
just menu lunch or dinner specials
with nothing added on,
but this month two i want everything orders
tipped me out,
so i called a man about some money
and he said ok.
the terms are good, thanks to he.

Sept. 20

when you get to 45
you stop adding and 3/4 afterwards

Sept. 21

"I've always wondered how I would taste if eaten."
—Sara Jane Stoner

risa and juliette in madison square park playground

the free university
had talks and readings in Madison square park today
they put the poetry reading
in front of the dog park
I sit on the floor,
As the first reader begins,
Bathed in dog piss.

Sept. 22

i'm stopping the lending library
no more undefined loans of  books, cds, and dvds out
iif you haven't used the media within a year
privileges revoked.

Sept. 23

spend the first 55 minutes of the jets game
cleaning out my dvr,
tune in to catch the final five minutes of regulation
call my dad to alert him.

Sept. 24

my last mets game of the season,
number four,
two ike davis two-run homeruns later,
and it's my first win of the season.

Sept. 25

some money today, finally,
first purchase?
8 two-liter bottles of pepsi at 99¢ a pop.

Sept. 26

Folks fly out tomorrow
Will I stay here
Bus to the railroad at a decent hour
Or have their cab drop me at the rail

Sept. 27

Home at 5:30 in the morning
Watch some tv
Print out some poems
Body takes a crash nap,
Walk over to Bellevue
Save $2.25,
Wait to hand in lithium scrip
Before psych appointment,
But after 90 minutes
Have to leave to host boog event,
So now back to the east side,
On Friday packday,
Another 90 minutes.

Sept. 28


35-minute walk
to the hospital
to get me lithium before my trip
it takes seven days to go out of your system
and the trip is 11 days long.

Sept. 29


a discovery
at the mcdonald’s in o’hare
a discovery
on the breakfast menu
almost nothing I can eat
kosher me faux kosher here
I miss the hash browns,
So I try again
“hey, what else goes in the hash browns fryer?”
“hey, what else goes in the hash browns fryer?”
“And, hey, what about the in-gre-di-ents?”
“And, hey, what about the in-gre-di-ents?”
“just the hash browns, nothing else at all”
“They’re only vegetables in then, nothing else at all?”
“Hey can I have two hash brons please”
“and your largest diet coke to me, only a dollar yes indeed,
yes indeed.”

Sept. 30

I’m 45,
46 in December,
and I get the way elder elders act
infantilizing you always,
be it 45 or 65,
but here’s a new thing,
talk to me or don’t,
no intermediaries needed,
I swear.